Some days I wish for nothing more than to pack everything that matters to me in a bag, throw it in the trunk of my car, and drive. Drive away from all of my problems, with someone I can share some experiences with. Some days I tire of the daily norms. I wish to not deal with the issues that I face; I would much rather just drive. It relaxes me just to close my eyes and pretend. I pretend I am somewhere where my problems cannot reach me, and I am free. One day I will do just that, just not today. Tomorrow I will get out of bed and go about life as usual. But one day, I will drive until my hearts content. I am at my highest when I am riding with the windows down on a beautiful night, listening to my favorite music. Only I wish that I was headed somewhere more desirable. But I stay upbeat, because one day that I will do just that.
We humans are a sophisticated type. We are all comprised of layer upon complex layer of personality, secrets, memories, and everything that makes us, us. You might not ever realize it, but you have different layers yourself. We have different layers for the different people we encounter on a day to day basis.
Our outer layer is, for the most part, is made up of small talk and awkward conversation. Our outer layer is for our acquaintances, peers, classmates, and coworkers that we are forced to communicate with on a daily basis. There is not a lot to it. Most people are extremely similar on the outside. We save the uniqueness and quirkiness for our friends and family. If you dig down really deep into a person’s layers, you might eventually get down to the center. The last layer. This is our real self, that we save for the very special people in our life. For me, there is only one person who has dug down into the middle, and actually gets to know the real me. Some people might have shown their center layer to more than one person, but a lot of us save it for just one person that we feel so comfortable with that we break down all of our barriers and show them the most true side of us.
Some of us have far less layers than others. It is all dependent on how complex of a person you are, and how much to you there is. There are a lot of people that the layer you first experience is quite similar to their center layer; simply because there are not many layers in between. What you see is what you get. Some of us are completely comfortable showing our true self to anyone that will give the time to see it. But there are also a lot of us that have so many layers, and are so complex, that there might only be one person who ever gets to the center. We find it more difficult to break down barriers for people we do not completely trust, so not many people see our true self. The point being, we are a complex species. We all have our own unique personalities and attributes that make up our layers.
We live in an amazing world. You could quite literally spend your entire life traveling and seeing the sites, and you would not even manage to take in a fraction of everything there is to see. You can discover the most amazing, breathtaking things in the most unexpected places. I don’t like getting too familiar with a place, because I feel as though I am wasting time that I could be exploring some amazing new place. Since I am young, I have not been able to do nearly as much traveling/exploring as I’d like, but there is no doubt in my mind that that is exactly what I want to do for the rest of my life. I have a thirst to see as many amazing things as I can before I die.
I come from a small town where not many people leave, and almost no one has any desire to. Maybe it was this upbringing that has made me so sick of this attitude. I simply cannot fathom how many people are so comfortable with staying in the same town their entire life, and will die having not seen anything. I don’t believe in becoming comfortable with a certain place, because once you’ve become comfortable, it is not nearly as exciting. You have seen everything there is to see in that place. There are too many amazing cities and sites in the world to become comfortable living in or visiting just one. Every new place offers amazing new experiences. I would rather find my home within a person instead of a place. I don’t want my “home” to stay anchored to one place. Rather, I can spend my life going from place to place within someone that I feel comfortable exploring with.
I encourage you to be a tourist. Don’t become a local. There are too many wonders in this world to pretend that we are “just fine” staying where we’re at. We were put on this earth to explore; it is human nature. So do just that, and discover something amazing
Mankind has always needed leaders. We complain about rules and structure from the time we are born until the day we die, but we desperately need it. Without rules to follow and societal expectations to abide by, what would we do? We are born with goals, and the majority of people’s goal align with societal expectations on what we should do with our lives. Society tells us what success and happiness are, and how to achieve them. We do not question it, because we are told so. Our leaders reaffirm this, and push us to achieve “The American Dream.” I often wonder to myself why I do what I do. I busted my ass throughout grade school to get into the best college I could, so I can get the best job and make the most money that I can. I strive to be “successful”. But where did this definition of success come from? Whose to say success for one person is not completely different for somebody else? I push myself to achieve everything that I can simply because I feel that I am supposed to. I was taught that that is how I should live my life. I have accepted that that is how I am going to live my life; that I will work hard and hopefully find a sense of purpose in what I do with myself. I just often find myself questioning what it is that pushes me to do what I do. That invisible force that I feel compelling me to do my best at everything. It seems to me that we are almost in a way enslaved from day one by societal expectations. We see people with nice things, driving nice cars, and living in big houses. We idolize celebrities because they have what we want. Money drives our decisions. We work our asses off so we might achieve happiness through possessions and money. However, many die unhappy because they find that happiness was not in what they purchased. I have come to the conclusion that I will make money not to become a slave to my possessions, but to be financially unburdened. I want to spend my years traveling, and seeing everything there is to see. I want to do everything I want to do. That is only possible if I have the means to do so. I want to break societal expectations by making money not so I can prove how rich I am, but so I can find myself and find what it is that makes me happy. Make the money, don’t let the money make you.
What is it that causes one person to behave completely different than another? Why do some of us have short tempers, and others have sustained patience? Why do some of us excel and perform under any circumstances, and some of us tend to fail or struggle at all times? Is it preset from birth? Do we all have a set attitude towards life when we are born due to genetics, or does nurture come into play? Does the way we are raised, our surroundings, friends, and circumstances shape our attitude towards life? These are questions I ask myself so often. I wonder daily how my peers differ so strongly from myself. I wonder what happened in someone’s life to give them the characteristics that they share today, or if perhaps they were born with them. I like to believe that I gained many of my traits through genetics, and others I incurred as I went through life. I have not changed much through the course of my life. I have the same friends as I did in my childhood, and I act the same as I did years ago. However, I have seen many of my peers change drastically over the course of a few years. Some of us are more set in our convictions and beliefs than others. I believe we are the way we are due to a combination of nature and nurture. We are born with a set of traits that we will carry through life; and many situations we encounter and people whose lives we will share ours with will rub off on us. It is a very interesting concept. We are in a way, an unfinished piece of pottery when we are born. We have been shaped to a certain extent, but in no way are we done being shaped.